I talked about what I didn’t like about my childhood, now I want to talk about the good things about my growing up.
I admire this woman to no end. As I said before, I was not an easy child, especially when I became a teen. We fought all the time. I would disobey her, mistreat her, and disrespect her. We argued and yelled. She would ground me and I would just ignore her. But she never quit trying, not really.
No matter how much I ignored her advice, how much I would manipulate her, she just kept trying to get the right lessons drilled into my head. When I was little, there were spankings galore. As a teen, it was groundings. That never really stuck, especially once I could drive. How do you punish a teen who just flat out ignores you? She tried to do the best she could with what she had to work with. But she tried, she never gave up. I admire her for that.
It would have been easier to just let me go my own way and just let what comes come. But she didn’t do that. She kept on trying.
Even more than that, regardless of what I said or did to her, she would be right there when I needed her. She helped me through the most difficult experience of my life, even though I treated her like crap. Every time I needed her, every single time, she was there. She never gave up, ever. I know she wanted to, and I know she was depressed a lot (not all because of me,) but she was still there to hold my hand, wrap a wound, (there were many), tell me I’m a dumb ass, clean up my messes, take my abuse and my tears.
She is what being a mother means to me.
I eventually learned my lessons, some the hard way, and I know she was right back then. Sure, at times I hated her, but she did the one thing I needed her to, stay by my side. I’m much older now, and, because of her, a lot wiser. I don’t see her as often as I would like to now, schedules and what not, but I’m going to try harder from now on.
For everything I’ve put you through, all the pain and heartbreak, you were always there for me, and for that, I can only say this:
Thank you, and I love you.