I had the most horrific dream last night. I just woke up and needed to get it out. Forgive the bad writing, I had very little sleep.
It began with me getting a job with a construction crew, building houses and the like. It all seemed pretty normal. At the end of the work day, they told me to meet them and the hospital in town. This was a pretty small town, a few thousand people. These guys were like the cool crew, everyone liked them and knew them.
That night I went to the hospital. A van pulls up and a bunch of the crew get out, they were pulling on masks and were carrying guns. Time slowed down as I watched them run into the emergency room. One man even winked at me as he pulled down his mask. I follow them in just as they start shooting.
They were killing everyone. The imagery was so realistic. Blood everywhere. Some of them must have brought their sons with them. I watched, paralyzed, as a boy of about 14 walked into the children’s ward with a shotgun. He would kneel down and tell a little boy that everything is going to be all right, then he would blow a hole in the kids chest. He would calmly walk to the next one, laying in bed, and shoot him point blank in the face.
They warned me as they left that if I told anyone who they were, they would kill my family. I ran back outside, I could hear the sirens approaching. I knew I could not be there when they arrived, so I ran home.
I pulled up to the back of the house, parking in the driveway by the ally. It was just like the house I grew up in. I had seen a police car in the front of the house and was worried they had killed my family already. As I got close to the house, one of the leaders walked out. He told me the police were just checking on everyone, but my wife and kids were aware that if they said anything, they would die. He walked away down the ally. I stood there crying for a second, trying to pull myself together. Finally, after a few minutes, I walked in.
My wife stood in the kitchen, the kids were in the living room. I didn’t see where the cop was. This is the house I have now. I open the door, and there is the leader of the whole gang, making sure my wife knew that I knew what happened and what would happen if I talked. He smiled at me and said he would see me at work tomorrow, then went to push past me to walk out.
I pushed back and said “No. This ends now.” I called for the police officer so I could tell him everything. Anne tells me they already left just before I walked in. I scream “Why is there never a cop around when you need them!” Something inside me comes unglued. I shove the guy, hard. He topples over at the far end of the kitchen, just at the top of the stairs to the basement. I continue screaming “You made a mistake, motherfucker! You fucked up big time! You let me find out there wasn’t a cop here!” I toss him down the stairs, and an emotion came up inside me, exploded inside me really. It was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was something terrifying. It was joy? Happiness? Excitement? I’m not really sure, but I know I should not have felt that way for pushing a man down the stairs.
My rage continued to build as I walk down the stairs one at a time, still screaming “You fucked up! You let me find out there were no cops here!” The man was pretty hurt already, I could see he had broken his leg on the fall down. I knelt on his chest and beat his face until it was a bloody mess, still screaming the same thing, over and over. The whole time I’ve never felt happier.
I begin to do unspeakable things to him. Torturing him, adding a new definition of pain for every single life I saw ended by him and his crew, especially the children. I enjoyed every single second of it.
What scares me the most is just how good it felt to kill this man. I know I was taking revenge for the people he killed and for threatening to kill my family, but still, it freaked me out. A lot.
Anyway, that’s the dream. Sorry you had to read this, but I had to get it out.